There is a purpose for every kind of test we go through, be it the loss of a loved one, a delay in the response to a prayer or the withholding of a blessing we so ardently seek. Pain brings out the best of patience in us, by digging through layers of anxiety, frustration, depression and anger. Battling with such overwhelming emotions while going through a trying test is certainly not a piece of cake! With the passing of time during a prolonged test, many lose the will to live, and give up all hope in the prospect of a future, and succumb to the worst assumed solution to every problem- to end life itself. As sister Yasmin Mogahed put it so well “Perhaps this trial won’t end until you learn the lesson it was meant to teach you”.
What is the ultimate lesson we are to learn from our struggles? That nothing in life is permanent, that all journeys must come to an end, and every pain in life is to redirect us towards the most merciful Lord of all that exists. Our purpose in life is not to accumulate worldly gains but to recognize our creator and be grateful, for life itself is the biggest blessing of all. Perhaps until we turn to Allah and learn to trust Him with every ounce of pure faith, we will always find within ourselves a blinding darkness.
Here’s a little attempt to try and help those dealing with sadness, with the hope that at the end of this article, you will find your burdens a little lighter!
The test is not a curse:
It is just that, a test! Going through a test which is particularly difficult to deal with can make one feel that this is the ultimate curse, that perhaps you are not destined to receive the blessing you seek. Don’t force yourself to accept the situation in life and thus, put an end to all attempts to feel better. By doing so, you cloud your vision to see the abilities in you to make through! Allah does not burden a soul more than it can bear. Know that your pain is only making you stronger and that it is in no way meant to destroy you.
There will always be a test of sorts thrown at us for as long as we live. This is what life is really all about. The test of tomorrow will be different than the test of today and if every test feels like the end of the world, no amount of happiness and blessing will be sufficient! Therefore, embrace this as a challenge instead of resigning to misery!
Ask yourself- how can I make this better? Is this something I can change? Do I have power over my situation? Or is this something beyond my control?
Analyzing your situation and coming to terms with the nature of the problem will help a great deal. Change what you can and leave to destiny what is beyond your control. For instance, you can control your weight but you cannot control Zayn Malik’s life decisions! No, seriously.
Why not? Satan is full of hope that you will fail miserably in all your endeavors! Bring him down and don’t let him whisper negativity into your heart! Do the things that make you happy and do them well! If you come across a blank space as to what makes you happy, try to brighten up somebody’s day and you will be surprised at the bottled up positivity within you!
Learn to respect yourself:
Self- pity and self victimization are the most common reasons that trigger depression. That constant feeling of not being good enough? Not having enough? Yes, we need to stop doing that. Respect your struggles and the strength with which you face the challenges, for holding your ground despite all odds. Pat yourself on the back for everything you have endured. If patting yourself on the back means eating doughnuts or the greasiest, cheesiest pizza? Go for it!
You are strong in all that you face. Know that sometimes, not having everything is not a sin, not having everything does not make you inferior. How you conduct yourself with what you already have defines your inner strength, and know that sometimes, less is better!
Rain brings about a great deal of beauty with it, it revives the parched land and washes everything with its touch. But that moment before the onset of rain, the appearance of clouds and the change in atmosphere, remember what it feels like. The appearance of clouds promises relief from heat. Yes, sometimes rain is destructive, and if it destroys everything in its wake and you still survive? What can you do except reconstruct?
I take leave on this inspiring note by Maulana Rumi:
All night a man called Allah until his lips were bleeding.
And then the devil said:
“How come you’ve been calling all night and never once heard Alllah say, “Here I am”? You call out so earnestly and, in reply, what? I’ll tell you what! Nothing!”
The man suddenly felt empty and abandoned. Depressed, he threw himself on the ground and fell into a deep sleep.
In a dream, he met Abraham (A.S) , who asked, “Why are you regretting praising Allah?”
The man said, “I called and called, but Allah never replied, “here I am”
“Allah has said, your calling my name is My reply, your longing for Me is My message to you. All your attempts to reach me, are in reality My attempts to reach you. Your fear and love are a noose to catch Me. In the silence surrounding every call of “Allah” waits a thousand replies of “here I am”.