Let’s Talk Taboo. Shall We?

An Interview with Brother Bilal Ibn Jimmy Stroud

Bismillah. A little over a year ago, this article came out. The post spread like wild fire in social media and a decent Muslim reporter approached me to do an interview about whether toys and the likes are permissible in the bedroom. I requested a woman interviewee to relay the questions to me (I know I’m too much, lol!) and he agreed. But life happened and we never really got to close the project. So I put the project under the backburner until I came across Brother Bilal and his Facebook platform where him and a number of sisters educate the Ummah on intimate matters, encourage Marriage Mondays, matrimonial matches, and frown on deviants and cheaters (who get quickly deleted and put on blast!). They don’t play there, lol!

Masha’Allah, the group is beneficial to many and it taps into many taboo matters that many people are afraid or ashamed to ask anywhere else. Being a Muslimah romance writer, I’m definitely happy to see such a group blossom.

Papatia: So Brother Bilal Ibn Stroud, Assalamu aleikum. Welcome to Hayati Magazine.

Brother Bilal: Wa alaikumu sallam wa rahmatulahi wa barakatuhu!!!! Wow….Ya Allah!!! It is a true honor.

 

P: 🙂 In a recent post in your secret Facebook platform, you talked about masturbation and grown up toys and brought up several scholar opinions. I already know the answer to this but for our readers, when would you say, masturbation and toys are allowed for a Muslim behind closed doors?

BB: Lololol…ok…First my sister the “Secret Room” you spoke of is called Seductive Muslim. It isn’t secret, but, closed. All praises are for Allah…we are helping couples every day. As you know many scholars among Ahlul Sunnah have ruled that masturbation in general is unlawful, BUT, there are situations where it is allowed. So I would like to discuss two situations. First…let’s assume that a sister named “Kenya” was single. She desires to be married. She has sexual desires and she has tried ALL means to suppress those desires in order to stay away from the haram i.e. zina. She has tried fasting, exercise, hobbies, elimination of music and television, avoiding free-mixing between men and women and she REALLY wants a man. She does not want run into another “haram wall” by getting a boyfriend and oh yeah the brothers in her area do not impress her. What is she to do?? Masturbation in this case is allowed as long as she does so to “take off the pressure” and it does not take the place of actual sexual activity that can only take place within the confines of marriage. Second…..there are situations where one would be prevented from having in interaction with members of the opposite sex and thus it is impossible to get married thereby having a healthy and halal way of fulfilling those desires. Brothers and sisters that are in prison fit in this category. What do you want them to do?? Masturbate or homosexuality?? I believe I can stop here and allow your readers to ponder over that scenario.

 

P: Haha! My bad; closed. And yea…The prison scenario is one I haven’t thought of either. Good point! So can you please give us the consensus and position of the different imams of the different Madhabs or even Fatawa on the matter to support this opinion?

BB: Now there is a principle in Fiqh that “necessity is judged according to the circumstances that warrant it.” When the issue has reached critical mass then allowances are made in those cases. For those who adhere to the rulings of Imam Abu Hanifa there are situations where allowances can be made to accommodate one’s situation. They include according to Hanafi Fiqh student Sidi Faraz Rabbani: “If the person did not do this, they genuinely fear that they would fall into actual zina (i.e. unlawful sexual intercourse), because of their uncontrollable desire, and they are unable to marry. And have taken all reasonable means to lessen their passion (such as fasting, lowering their gaze, avoiding meat and dairy products, avoiding those things that stir their desires, such as bad company, spending unnecessary time outdoors, especially in public places such as shopping malls where there is fitna, avoiding watching TV and surfing the internet.”

 

 

P: In my researches, I also came across this link. Do you agree with these sources?

BB: Hmmmm….I have never seen this link. I have got to check that out. Insha’Allah.

 

P: Well you have it folks. Do your research, be skeptical, and unless you have no outlet or your back turned to the wall, don’t masturbate. Also, please know that adultery is a serious offense so I beg you not to partake in it. It’s better for you to do the lesser evil. I hope this post on intimacy was beneficial for you. For the grown up toys permissibility, please head over Seductive Muslim on Facebook to get your answer insha’Allah. Please leave comments insha’Allah.

Thank you Brother for being with us and I hope this helps people be more frank and open about taboo matters. You can share any social media platforms you have so that readers can follow you or even reach out to you if they find themselves in a pickle about delicate matters insha’Allah.

BB: Thank you so much my sister. I would encourage your readers to join Seductive Muslim on Facebook and help us bring about a greater awareness of love, sexuality, eroticism and compassion within the marital bond. Our goal is to help people get married, stay married and enjoy being married. I can also be contacted personally via email…bilal.stroud@gmail.com . LET’S GO!!!! Thank you sooo much. As sallamu alaikum wa rahmatulahi wa barakatuhu. You are my sister forever!!!

P: Wa aleikum salam waramatulahi wa barakatuhu! Likewise Brother!

 

Picture credit: Google

Papatia Feauxzar

Papatia Feauxzar is the Love & Relationship Editor of Hayati Magazine. Feauxzar is also a Muslim Publisher and an American author of West African descent living in Dallas, Texas with her son and husband. She holds a master’s degree in Accounting with a concentration in Personal Finance. After working as an accountant for a corporate firm for almost five years, Feauxzar decided to pursue Accounting from home while homeschooling her son. You can visit her website at www.djarabikitabs.com.

24 Comments
  1. This is a very tacky topic and most of the people reading this would go grab the latter option without taking all the precautions mentioned before that.

  2. May Allah save us from such situation and keep us within the boundaries of Halal.

    Yes! there is lot of fitnah. And of course we cannot rule out injustice.

    May most merciful Allah make it ease for us to be contended. Indeed final judgement is with Allah.

  3. This is a topic we don’t know much about in the Islamic context as no one wants to talk about it – but thanks for educating us.

  4. I appreciate that such taboo topics are tackled within the Muslim community whether or not they are relevant to me. When we don’t address situations that effect Muslims across all spectrum’s we allow them to fall through the cracks and into haraam.
    It’s important that scholars and sound Islamic groups offer information and solutions to private and sensitive matters.
    I applaud you for being brave enough to approach this topic. Masha’Allah you did so with poise and modesty.

  5. @Sahar Awww, you have no idea how your words touched me. Masha’Allah subhannallah, I’m glad you see the class I’m trying to portray as I’m tiptoeing around these delicate matters as if left unresolved create issues in the long run indeed. Also and I mean, vulgarity has no place when we bring these things up! Jazak’Allah khair for dropping and commenting! Houb salam! 🙂 xx

  6. There are so many topics in Islam that no one wants to discuss because it is taboo, but I think you are doing an excellent job by bringing up things that we all need to know about.

  7. Indeed, we have so many delicate and taboo matters in our Ummah. May we find greater love, understanding and compassion within our marital bonds through more open conversations.

  8. We need to steer away from labelling topics as taboo. by doing so, we limit the opportunities to educate people, our youth especially, about a particular topic.

    Thank you for being brave enough to tackle this subject.

  9. You are right sister, as Muslims we should have more open discussions on certain ‘taboo’ subjects especially with the youth. May Allah guide us.

  10. Such a taboo subject in our community that I honestly don’t know what to say here! lol

    But good on you for tackling these subjects..we do need to be educated.

  11. @Ayesha, I actually agree on your mindset. Maybe in the distant future we won’t have to call it taboo insha’Allah 😉 lol! Thank you for commenting 🙂 and appreciating my efforts. Truly, hubb salam.

  12. @Foz, I know. I always feel like walking on egg shells lol but I have to be honest with myself and do what I believe I was created to do; touch on delicate matters insha’Allah :). xx

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