Marriage is not easy but sometimes you can have it your way* without compromising. I’m sure you’re thinking, ‘No way! Where are you going with this?’
Between spouses, there are always unresolved issues because people don’t really change. One day your spouses will listen to you and do as you say and the next, they are reverting to their old selves. Along the way, you learn to live with certain things while you still can’t tolerate other things. C’est la vie!
So how can you manage to have it your way on those things that still irk you? I have a small list that can help.
- Remove the option
Have you ever had to deal with a baby who keeps removing your pots and pans from your kitchen drawers over and over again even though you yank them from its hands every single time? To resolve this issue, you baby proof your kitchen so it (for baby) can’t get access to your kitchenware and drive you crazy. Ok, this method also applies to adults. If I want the dishes on one side of the sink for instance, I block one side so I guarantee that all dishes will go to one side. Peculiar? Maybe. But we can be all particular about certain minor things.
- Offer/Create an incentive
Tell your spouse that this disliked behavior bothers you and that you’re tired of bringing it up. To correct it, you will give him a massage or bake his favorite dessert for instance every time it is not repeated. Some people might call it positive reinforcement. With time insha’Allah, you won’t have to say anything or even offer an incentive because the disliked behavior will likely go away.
- Be playful
“Men will let you abuse them if only you will make them laugh”— Henry Ward Beecher. When you feel like you are about to lose it because another version of this quote says “If you want to tell people the truth, you’d better make them laugh or they’ll kill you”—Bernard Shaw , breathe in and out, chill, and say what bothers you again but with a playful tone. It makes a difference, trust me.
I hope these tips help! Thank you for reading.
Bio: Papatia Feauxzar is a West African Author living in Dallas, Texas with her son and husband. She also holds a Master degree in Accounting with a concentration in Personal Finance. She now works from home alhamdullilah. Visit her at www.djarabikitabs.com .