Subhan’Allah, every father-daughter bond is special. It is important for fathers to connect with their daughters. Every daughter thrives on feelings of belonging and affection that come from having caring and supportive fathers, and this is vital for a daughter’s well-being. Father-daughter bonds need to be units of mutual care and support, as these are sources of lifelong strength for both the individuals. From what we know, the relationship of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ and his beloved daughter, Fatima (radiallahu anha) is not just beautiful, but is a lesson from where we can learn. We can adapt their ways of living in order to strive to better ourselves. Every daughter’s first “hero” is her father. There are many out there who were deprived from this relationship and I feel blessed that I got this bond as a gift from Allah ﷻ, alhamdulillah.
Back in the day, when I was a teen, Abba—my father used to keep telling me, “I am your father, I am your friend,” to which I used to reply, “You are my father, not my friend,” in a very jittery tone. Just like any other teen, I didn’t spend much time with him, and even when I did, chances were I used to be on my mobile phone and not hear anything he said. With years passed by, little did I notice, that Abba did turn out to be my friend with whom I was talking about everything. He was right; he was and is my father and my friend. I just didn’t get it back then.
Abba always tells me that he gets upset, when I am upset and he can’t see me cry. As, I embark on my learning path, I read the following hadith, and it reminded me of what he tells me.
Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said, “Fatima is a part of me. Whatever upsets her, upsets me, and whatever harms her, harms me.” — Sahih Muslim
There are many ahadith from which we can learn from the relationship of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ and his daughter, Fatima. There are times, I place myself in the shoes of Fatima, and try to learn from what she has done. I find myself to be restless, when anyone talks against Abba. Sometimes, it’s hard to keep silent but keeping in mind, I try to reply in a polite manner. I remind myself of the famous story, where a group of Quraysh gathered around the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ while he was praying. A member of the clan, fetched the remains of a slaughtered animal and threw it on the shoulders of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ whilst he was in sujood.
Fatima quickly removed the filth from her father and angrily lashed out at the enemies. She was barely 10 years old during the incident. She loved her father the most, she defended and protected him with great courage.
There will be dark days, along with sunny days. And we all should remind ourselves of the ayah, in which Allah ﷻ says, “Truly where there is hardship there is also ease.” — Qur’an (94-6)
Keeping firm in our faith and soothing our hearts, with the ayah, that says,“No one besides Allah can rescue a soul from hardship.” — Qur’an (53:58)
We have grown up hearing, “There are things you can share with your mother, but not with your father.” It’s a statement I totally disagree with. Why? Because, alhamdulillah, I was and still able to share anything and everything with Abba. In this part of the world, I have seen very rough edged relationships between a father and a daughter. There are fathers who hardly tell their daughters, “I love you,” or go out in a cafe or just chill. At the same time, there are daughters who live in the fear of their fathers, to some extent that they will hide at home if they think something might upset their father. This situation is heartrending, and needs to shape up.
I feel exceptionally blessed by Allah ﷻ that I did not have that atmosphere at home, alhamdulillah. Abba has been my go-to person, my emergency call and problem solver. He has always eased the burdens of those whom he loves. From having fits of laughter, to cracking lame jokes, discussing work schedules, discussing diet plans and vacation plans, watching cricket and mocking each others team, long-long telephone conversations to sleepless nights were we just sit and chitchat, everything has been a beautiful memoir which I’ll cherish forever. I look forward to making more of these memoirs in the future, insha’Allah.
Abba, you hold a special place in my heart, and I know my life wouldn’t be the same without you. You always tell me you love me, and I don’t say it as much as I should. Know this that I love you a lot and you are my favorite human in dunya. I pray to Allah ﷻ that He blesses both of us with jannah and I hope we get the company of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ and his beloved daughter, Fatima. May Allah be pleased with her as well.
Dua to every father-daughter out there. Those who have lost their fathers, I pray you are reunited with your heroes in Jannah. I know it can be hard, and there will be a void inside you, but keep firm in your faith, and keep making dua for your heroes, and insha’Allah, every father-daughter will be united in the akhirah. Allah ﷻ is capable of all things.