You will prepare for marriage by gathering all the right ingredients according to you, but some things will still surprise you along the way. For that reason, let’s make sure that faith is not that blind spot because marriage is half of our deen and a way to attain the next life. If our life is destroyed by our own ignorance, we will be in trouble in the next. And we don’t want that.
So, how do you know that he or she is not of the people Allah ﷻ mentions in surah 63 of His holy book?
Well, we usually know non-Muslims rather well and for many Muslim women, we try to abide to the covenant of Allah ﷻ by staying clear of them during marital pursuits. Men can pursue them. The problem is many Muslims rarely pause to delve deeper when they encounter people that claim to be Muslims. Many people on the face of the earth are Muslims by name. And they don’t hide it. The ummah is usually safe from this group because at least they are truthful. And if you choose them, you know what you are getting into.
Now, those who cause fitnah to non-suspecting Muslims are the ones who go out of their ways to conceal their disbelief and portray to anyone they can convince “their belief” in One true God. Astaghfirullah. May Allah ﷻ protect us from these deceivers, aameen.
From experience, here are a few tips to watch out for.
1. They don’t encourage your wins on the path of Allah ﷻ
This means that when you try to know more about the deen, they deter you. They won’t say it adamantly, they will be subtle about it. They will also tell you that women don’t go to hajj. But they can go. Remember that mushrikeen also perform hajj. They go under the guise of Islam but do something else there. Allah ﷻ is not unaware of what they do. Additionally, they will tell you that women don’t pray at the mosque, that women don’t need an Islamic education nor a secular one. Why? Because an educated person can see through the BS.
2. They purposely void their salat or try to
They don’t wake up for suhur and they consistently pray up close to forbidden times of salat or during forbidden times of salat. Additionally, they don’t make wudu regularly. They will tell you that their wudu from several hours is still valid. It’s so easy to break wudu and wudu washes aways sins. Why not always be in a constant state of purity? The followers of Shaytan have no need for spiritual purity. They like to surround themselves with sins. Astaghfirullah.
Stay away from people like that, they can and will give you was’was. Allah ﷻ urges us not to be of the mumtarin; those who doubt.
3. They practice sihr openly and in secret
What you can learn from this is that they have no tawwakkul and cannot let Allah ﷻ handle their affairs. They have to find quick fixes with charlatans and pirs to try to get their desires answered. Believers in magic. That’s what they are. Because undoubtedly, they know Allah ﷻ created them, but the love of magic is so attached to their heart like the love of the cow for Bani Israel. Above all, they are mushrikeen. This magic is often to sabotage and control you in their spiritual prison. La hawla wala quwatta billah.
4. They are overbearing
They will offer you to stay-home and be pampered. The end goal is not to pamper you but to make you emotionally and financially dependent on them. When this is achieved, you are no longer an example of Khadijah RadiyaAllahu anha. They will nip your freedom at the bud and limit your circle of friends and family by trying to re-educate and brainwash you with a skewed aqidah. They are great recruiters and operate in “Muslim” brotherhood sects. They will declare that they are the only true Muslims left on the face of the earth. Just like people of the book used to say to each other. This leads to the next point.
5. They use weak sources to try to tame you or simply discard the sunnah or hukum of Allah ﷻ
For instance, a Muslim woman should keep her father’s name. All the authentic/correct sources say so, but they will make you change your name. Don’t fall for it or do it. Take other people’s mistakes as a warning.
6. They can’t stand the recitation of the Quran
They prefer to pray in the dark. They prefer dark rooms. They are uncentered when the Quran is played or recited; especially, suratul Baqarah. This surah is a lifesaver Subhan Allah. It will take you from darkness to light—nur. I guarantee you that. You will gain furqan by using it in your daily life. The story of Tufail ibn Amr al-Dawsi RadiyaAllah anhu is a great reminder here.
Our final advice is that you should read surah Baqarah daily. If you can’t, at least read the verses of the Throne and Amanah Rasul. They are TRUE shields against Shaytan. Your life will never be the same and will only change for the best insha Allah.
Anything that keeps you away from Allah ﷻ and especially from His houses is all the work of Iblis.