How To Find Mr. Perfect

My friends and I almost done with school. We’re going to graduate soon, end one chapter of our life and  start a new one.  And our next goal is to find a man to share all this happiness and excitement with. But not any type of men.We all want the “perfect” one. So how do we find Mr. Perfect?

Well, you just can’t find him. Sorry if you expected a list of tips and tricks to find him, this article might be a little disappointing. BUT, if you’re intent on finding him, I still have one thing that you can try. It is to leave the earth, because you’re obviously on the wrong planet. I apologize for being a little harsh but I’m giving you some tough love.

According to me, that is the type of question a woman should never ask herself. Why?  Simply because the adjective “perfect” doesn’t apply to human beings, and your version of perfection might not be mine. We, as women, always dream about the “one”, and I’m proud to see that more women are giving up on the idea of finding a perfect man. Instead we’re slowly transitioning from “perfect” to “ideal”. Even the politics of ideals give me a headache. So yes, there is a difference. The perfect man “he doesn’t exist in case you didn’t understand it yet” is the one who has all the qualities that exist, and the ideal man, even though he’s not perfect, he’s the most suitable for you.

If the water is to cold we need fire to heat it up, but if the fire gets to dangerous we need water to extinct it. This is  the type of euphemism  you get when you live with your grandmother like me.

So about the tips  I said I wouldn’t be giving to help you find Mr. Perfect. You’re right, I changed my mind. I want to help you be the stronger version of yourself before you meet him or before he comes your way insha’Allah.

  • Stop looking for him

You’re supposed to be happy in your marriage, your spouse should bring you joy. That doesn’t mean he is supposed to be  perfect. Having said that, may Allah preserve us from a miserable life. You’ll waste less time if you stop looking for the “perfect”. Time that can be used to do better things. And that leads us to our next point.

  • Work on yourself

As human beings, proud creatures that we are, we like to think that we’re the perfect ones and others are probably the cause of the world’s current state. Let’s stop that. Instead of looking for the “perfect man” ask yourself “Do I have all the qualities required to be the perfect woman?” If the answer is yes, good for you! But for the rest of us, the majority actually, the answer should and would be no. And that’s ok, it’s normal. Be the person you’re looking for. You want a good husband, be a good woman and wife  to be.

  • Stop expecting so much from people

You’re expecting someone to have qualities that you yourself don’t have. You want them to remain calm and patient in situations were even the best of people couldn’t do so. If you didn’t realize that yet, the only thing guaranteed that you’re going to find is disappointment! A lot of it. If you want to save yourself from a lot of pain, you need to realize that people around you aren’t that different than you. They have qualities and have flaws just like you.

What happens in Disney movies, stays in Disney movies. The perfect marriages, the perfect man, the happily ever after, and the talking birds too. I had hope that I’ll find the key, and then one day I found out that this key only open a door in Jannah, not here. I was disappointed, who wouldn’t be? But trust me you’ll be way more disappointed than I was if you continue living in such an illusion.




Photo credit : google

Maryam Kabir
Maryam Kabir

Nigerian lifestyle blogger at Veilbymaryam. Business administration student. Cupcake and makeup lover. Trying to help women of her community by sharing her opinions and experiences with everyone who's want to listen.

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