I guess my new habit of writing mainly about romance, love, halal love I should say, marriage and boys has really stuck on. I mean girls my age, what do we talk about? If not men, or the kind of men we want. Not everyone talks about their psychology degree and maybe not about global warming either.
I haven’t written in a while, exams and what not and I apologise, really lacked inspiration I should say. But I got a question from my neighbour some days back, she asked, ‘what kind of man are you looking for?’ trust me, the hardest question I have ever been asked, well, probably the second hardest. The first being ‘who are you?’ I mean I’m Fatima, but who is Fatima is a really tough question to answer.
Well obviously I went for the “not too tall (ha-ha YES unlike everyone else, I am not really looking for 6ft +), dark skinned, not too old, good looking, blah, blah, blah”. But after she left, it got me thinking, what actually would I look for in a potential husband?
Am I too young to be writing this? Well some girls my age probably have a kid, so I do not think so. Well, after sitting looking like a big banana, (trust me my thinking face – the funniest thing ever) I finally came up with what I really wanted in a man.
Now my serious stage is on.
I believe a man who does not love Allah, is a man who is incapable to love. I mean if you have no love for God, I definitely stand no chance at all. So the first thing I would look for, is a man who loves Allah sincerely and wholeheartedly. Only then would I believe he would be able to love me for the sake of Allah, cherish me and be sincere in his love to me, I mean what other love is better than the love grown from the love one has for his Maker.
A man who doesn’t care about the pettiness of having a girlfriend. He would restrain himself from his desires to protect me and himself, because he loves me sincerely and loves Allah above all. He fears Allah so much that he doesn’t want to disobey Him and loves me so much that he wouldn’t want me to invoke a curse upon myself. He will wait until he can and come to me at the right time for the right reason and Allah in his infinite mercy will aid him or take him to something which is better for him.
A man who is quiet (I already talk too much lol – he needs to listen to me). But when he speaks, his voice is so eloquent, he speaks with power and knowledge backed up with a lot of wisdom. A man that walks with so much respect and has so much dignity, that even if I don’t end up with I would respect him and always pray for him to have the best.
A man who would stand up for me, treat me like half of him, like a part of him and not one that would treat me like a slave, not one who would abuse me (directly or indirectly – emotionally or physically). A man who would have so much pride in me, who would protect me, who would teach and learn from me. A man who would communicate with me, compose himself when he is angry and let us talk and solve our problem then and there. A man that would tell me his deepest fears, who would trust me and care for me like a child, the same way I would care for him.
A man who strives so hard to be like the Rasulullah (SAW), while I strive to be like the wives of the Rasulullah (SAW). (A lot of people forget themselves while they make their demands and want what they know they would never aim to be).
A man who would be the coolness of my eyes – from Surat Al-Furqan, verse 74– favourite (more like cutest) dua’a, and I wish to be the coolness of his. A man who I would admire no matter what state he is in, no matter his financial status (stable, he doesn’t have to be rich or extremely rich), as long as my heart is pleased with him I wouldn’t care if the whole world feels he is like this (insert hand gesture here). I would continue to take him as my prince and live happily as his princess.
A marriage is a give and take situation, a commitment, a lifetime commitment. I want a man who is there through it all and no matter how tough it gets, he never gives up, just as I would never give up. A man would love me for the sake of Allah, who would want akhira with me, in Jannah –In sha Allah. Only that kind of man will strive because he would always know – if this world was meant to be perfect, there would be no death, no heaven, no hell. But there is and in Jannah all things are perfect, so we will be perfect. So in Jannah we would be together, forever, In sha ALLAH.
The right way to a perfect happy ending.
Ask yourself, what kind of man you would want, pray for him, and above all, pray for the best, In sha ALLAH, the best… <3
Love Fatima xx