The tone of the top is an accounting term which is very important to the viability of a company. It “defines management’s leadership and commitment towards openness, honesty, integrity, and ethical behavior. It is the most important component of the control environment.” Many companies such as Enron, Arthur Andersen, Lehman Brothers, and many others went bankrupt because they didn’t have it. At first, when I learned about this concept in college, I thought, How can these simple words make a difference? In my opinion, people are crooks or they are not. Anyways, I didn’t question it too much and went along with learning. My top priority was to ace tests.
It wasn’t until I started working as an accountant that I realized what these words truly meant. If a boss is not transparent about the way he handles the books, he relays that faulty foundation to the people working below him and with time things don’t look so good for the company. I had finally realized the meaning because my top boss was very hands on. He would never do anything to cook the books. He always did the right thing and made sure we all did the same thing even when sometimes there was that little voice inside that would advise you to do the opposite. And this ‘doing the right thing’ mentality stayed with me. I have done a couple of jobs since I left that company and let say the tone of the top is different everywhere else. Some bosses barely communicate and the tone of the top is clearly ‘we don’t care.’ Why am I bringing this up? Because it also applies to marriage.
In a marriage, the tone of the top (the man of the house) usually sets the tone for the relationship. If the man is loving, the woman is usually loving. If the man gives crap to his woman, she will give him a doozie. Simple as that and forgive my use of bad words during Ramadhan. It has to be said.
To continue, if a man has taqwa, chances are his woman will have more taqwa for Allah too. For the Quran Karim says in Surah 24 Verse 26,
“Women impure are for men impure, and men impure for women impure and women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity: these are not affected by what people say: for them there is forgiveness, and a provision honourable.”
Now, they are other instances, like in the case of Pharaoh where he was evil but he had a pious woman. These are the exception cases. But overall, in a marriage if a man doesn’t consider the opinion of his spouse before making any type of important decisions, she will do the same to him. This is what a lack of communication brings to couples. So, the tone of the top is very important! Don’t discount it.
May Allah mend whatever is broken in our marriages, protect us from the evil eye, and grant us jannat al firdaws with them, ameen. Single and searching, may Allah grant you wonderful companions in whom you will find solace, tranquillity, and peace, ameen.
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